CSTAR

Sorry I haven’t posted much lately…I’ve been busy as you can see from the picture! This is Bosco and I feverishly working on recovery.

Big Thanks to Joy and my Mom for all the food! We have been supplied with homemade goodness a couple of times already, and I am expecting another round of fridge resupply this weekend. Its made life so much easier here to have stuff to eat and not worry about cooking or grocery shopping. Go Team!

From the latest round of appointments:

1. Dr. Fine (who needs a nickname when you are a plastic surgeon named “Dr. Fine”?) is overall pleased with the progress of the tissue graft in my left eye socket. It changes color once a day to keep me guessing as to how its healing. Last week it, was actually a nice pink color, only to change to a series of greens and yellows this week. Dr. Fine says this is normal and expected however. We are concerned about the inner corner of the graft, which has yet to fully take. The worst case scenario is that it will take a little longer to heal. Dr. Fine thinks the window to worry about the skin/tissue graft failing has passed, and that it is now only a matter of time. He removed most of my stitches, and will remove the rest this Thursday.

2. Dr. Chandler continues to deny my demands and tell me that my activity level needs to remain at approximately zero (I am allowed to walk – yay). Since I am not getting the answers I want, I’m calling Dr. Pelzer today to see if he’ll give me a different answer. If mom says no, go ask dad!

3. I am becoming a professional napper…Bosco and I have several nap-offs daily…especially since its really the only thing that I can do to speed up this recovery. Trust me, I’d much rather be out doing something…damn doctors.

4. The only pain I have now is a little bit in my left shoulder, and these random wild headaches. They are pretty crazy…basically debilitating head pain that disappears as fast as it starts. I almost laugh when its over because it is the wildest thing I have ever felt. Feels like someone is banging pots and pans in a megaphone inside my skull (especially since my hearing goes out during these attacks), and then its gone! Thats the only time I am medicated, which is a nice improvement over the high-all-the-time days. Overall, I feel great. I actually feel totally recovered, I just need my skull to catch up with my spirit.

5. Just to tidy this up – Mom won the Dr. Symanski nickname contest: Dr. Stacy “Commendable Occulo-Mass Eradicator” Symanski. Congratulations!

As it turns out, the information previously posted about my optimistic commissioning outlook was premature. My future in the Marine Corps is once again in jeopardy. There is no doubt that I will attack this issue with unbridled enthusiasm and tenacity, but the prognosis is uncertain to be sure. I’ll post more details on this when appropriate. We are planning for all eventualities, but its not an issue to be handled at this moment. First comes the healing.

Overall, the situation is fantastic. I have come to the conclusion that I am glad the second surgery was “unsuccessful”. My situation if the second surgery had worked would be to have a left eye of questionable ability, but also close to a 20% chance of recurrence of cancer. It is quite possible that radiation would have further damaged vision in that left eye. Given that my current chance of recurrence is near zero, I like where I’m at now. The recovery is the easy part. I am focused on getting better, and the relief of not worrying as much about cancer now or in the future (knock on wood, cross fingers, etc) is worth losing my eye.

I swear I have yet to feel sorry for myself. I think I am Very Lucky. There aren’t many people who get this intimate with cancer, who get this close to the worst imaginable prognosis, and then get to walk away. I have been blessed with great support and superb medical care, and I am thankful. I am fortunate to have 24 hour medical care at home, and that has made this so much easier. Given the dire circumstances, I couldn’t be in a better situation than I am right now. Thanks!

Next post will be after my thursday appointments…