I’d be wasting a great story if I didn’t tell this one…its “R” rated tho…
The background: Anyone who has ever lifted with me knows I have shoulder issues with heavy weights. I have to warm up extensively to avoid chronic overuse injuries. Also I can only lay on my left elbow for about 5 minutes before pain sets in and I have to shift. So, 10.5 hours immobilized for neurourgery causes some amazing pain. Open Cranial surgery requires the patient to be completely immobile, so I was locked down pretty tight. Here’s the script between myself, Margaret, and the other nurse in the recovery room, coming up from anesthesia (keep in mind I am out of my mind on anesthesia)
Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Nurses: what’s wrong?
Me: I’M GOING TO KILL YOU M*****F*****S!
Nurses: what’s wrong Mr. Schrank?
Me: PAIN! PAIN! I”M GOING TO KILL YOU M*****F*****S!!!!
(repeat this a few more times, and the nurses thought my head was in pain. They gave me every pain killer they could think of, to no avail because my shoulders were still strapped in)
Me: AAAAAHHHHH! PAIN PAIN PAIN!!!! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!
Nurses: you can’t hit the nurses.
Me: I would never hit you…I’M GOING TO KILL YOU
Nurses: where does it hurt?
Me: MY SHOULDER, MY SHOULDER
Nurses: oh, you should have told us, we can totally fix that
Me: ARE YOU ON MY TEAM?? ARE YOU ON MY TEAM??
Nurses: what?
Me: ARE YOU ON TEAM SCHRANK?!?!?!
Nurses: yes, we are on your team
Me: ok
Totally true script, and then apparently I calmed down, or maybe all the drugs finally overcame my nervous system, or maybe I just needed to know they were on my team, since I didnt see any T-shirts.
1. The next few hours were spent trying and failing and trying again to build a position of rolled and taped blankets and pillows for my destroyed shoulder. I don’t want to sound dramatic, but its the worst pain I have ever felt. Worse than when I shattered my other shoulder in high school.
2. Over the rest of the evening, I patched up my relationship with Nurse Margaret. As it turns out, she is truly fantastic.
4. With all that support, I have no choice but to rock this recovery. I am so focused right now. This morning I got out of bed and sat in a chair. That 4 seconds completely exhausted me. This afternoon, I walked a complete lap around the hospital under my own power. I only returned to my room because my shoulder was really causing some big pain. It’s go time for this recovery.
5. It has been such a relief to get through this surgery. My spirit is buoyed by my support system (all of you), and Dr. Pelzer’s satisfaction. He is so happy with the results, that we have put low-dose radiation back on the table for the next step in possible treatment.
Cancer wasn’t prepared to go to the extent that Team Schrank was to win. I am dragging this disease to the woodshed. There is plenty of pain left, but we are downhill to victory now.
Congratulation on being awake and able to type! Hope the shoulder feels better.
I think it would be interesting for you and Chris to have a conversation since you are both so heavily medicated!
Keep up the great attitude. You'll be back in business before you know it!
Stacy
Comment by Trixie — February 1, 2007 @ 21:07
Chris and i will jointly unlock the mysteries of the universe! I am sending theories via telepathy right now…Chris is postulating them, and you must record them. Time is of the essence. Whatever he says is profound truth.
Comment by Anonymous — February 1, 2007 @ 21:32
Hey
Glad to hear that you are out of what sounds to be a very successful surgery. As far as the recovery goes, I am glad to hear that you have super powers, but I will also state that I am happier at my new house. Jusk kidding. Brad and Jeanette are treating me like a king, it is that other furry creature I am not so sure about (a cat). We are starting to ignore one another rather than stressing ourselves out over what the other is doing. I am pretty sure that I could still take him though. Stay strong and recover quickly, while I go and play in the snow.
Bosco
Comment by Anonymous — February 1, 2007 @ 21:41
Bear with me if I type any mistakes, as my keyboard was just slimed with dog slobber. Eddy, Jeanette and I are very happy to hear of the successful surgery. Bosco is doing what he can to help you recover. Currently he is resting for you, in what appears to be an unconscious state. Later on he plans to go for a run (he knows how much you despise these). Keep the spirits up, stay strong, and recovery quickly.
Brad and Jeanette DiDuca
Comment by Anonymous — February 1, 2007 @ 21:48
We are both glad to hear that everything went well. I laughed as I read about your conservation with the nurse. Use your super healing powers to their full extent so we can get you back home. Duke is missing the PS3 action.
Oh and don’t worry about Melberg’s class, I’ve been going everyday and taking copious notes so that you won’t fall behind.
Corey and I hope to see you soon brother.
Comment by The Petersen's — February 2, 2007 @ 02:18
We are both glad to hear that everything went well. I laughed as I read your conservation with the nurse. Use your super healing powers to their full extent so we can get you back home. Duke is missing the PS3 action.
Oh and don’t worry about Melberg’s class, I’ve been going everyday and taking copious notes so that you won’t fall behind.
Corey and I hope to see you soon brother.
Comment by The Petersen's — February 2, 2007 @ 02:19
Well, Eddy, I'd say that my dad was giving you his strength and stubborn resilience yesterday. I'm so glad that you are doing so well. It's incredible. I'm happy for you! Keep getting stronger!
Beth
Comment by Beth — February 2, 2007 @ 05:39
Hi Eddy,
I very glad to hear and read that your surgery went well. I'm rooting for you!
Katie
Comment by Anonymous — February 2, 2007 @ 08:37
I think the family has a common response to anesthesia. I beleive Aaron had a similar response after having his wisdom teeth removed. Accused the nurses of trying to steal his teeth!
Glad to here the super powers are charging up to full strength. Sounds like you wiil bee ready for a game of toss the pigskin on Sunday.
Go Eddy, go! Our thoughts are with you.
Love, Brita,Lars, Sarah and Emma
P.S. Sarha and Emma think it is cool to have a pirate in the family!
Comment by Anonymous — February 2, 2007 @ 12:52